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Do you ever want to start again?

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a rock star.  Yep, I wanted to wear wild, edgy, glittery-glitzy outfits and sing at the top of my lungs to audiences of thousands.  Unfortunately, my parents let me know pretty quickly that probably was not going to happen so I moved on, although if given the chance today, I’d be on a stage in a heartbeat!  My next dream, which my dad quickly squashed was to be a race car driver and then my next was an auto mechanic…again squashed, and by the time I was well into my high school years, it had become crystal clear that whatever my dream, it would need to include a college education, because not going to college was not an option. Fine...I’ll become a fashion merchandiser, so off to college I went.  My very first class was clothing construction 101. This was unfortunate because I could neither thread a sewing machine nor did I have the desire to learn how.  I spent the next year burning up the road so that with my mother or my sister could sew my projects but, after my mother received a “C” on one of my projects, she swore she’d never sew anything else for me, which brought my career in fashion to an abrupt halt. By now, I was almost in a panic, because at that time, it seemed to me, that my options were limited…nursing, secretary or teacher, none of which truly called to me.

Already feeling trapped, I chose nursing.

I hated every moment of nursing school…that should have been my first clue.  But, every time I would talk to my dad, he would be giddy with excitement that I had chosen this profession, telling me I would always have a job, flipping through the endless pages of want ads for nurses. So I plowed through, and at the end of four years, I proudly had a a job waiting in the wings. I told myself, just work two years and go back to school to get your masters and teach, but at the two year mark, I was married, had a baby and a mother who was newly diagnosed with ovarian cancer. School was not happening.

After a few short years, the newness of nursing had all but disappeared and I had pretty much hit the top of grade for pay, unless I wanted to to work nights, weekends and holidays when the hourly rate was premium. I hated losing the time with my family and the politics of the hospital drove me crazy.

The joy was gone.

My job had become just that…a J O B.

I knew I was in the wrong field.

Oh, I could do the work, and I was good at it and I loved my fellow nurses and most of my patients but…my passion was not there.

I searched endlessly for ways to create other businesses or means to make money, including two MLM’s and a wallpaper business, so I could hopefully walk away from nursing, but all to no avail.  I could never put the energy needed into a new business while I was still working, and on the other hand, I couldn’t walk away from the money, benefits or security that the nursing job provided.

I had no plan.

I had no one to help me.

I was dying inside.

I was STUCK.

It was not until 2005—nearly twenty-six years after becoming a nurse that, when the opportunity reared its head, I finally drew a line in the sand, jumped and I begged to be fired.

I still didn’t know what I was going to do but there were a few things I did know.

  • I needed a support system. I wanted to speak so I joined groups like Toastmasters, the Georgia Chapter for National Speakers Association, I found a friend who was willing to mentor me and I gathered around those who were like minded.
  • I didn’t have to do it alone. I hired coaches to help me create a plan and hold my feet to the fire so I would follow through and be accountable, even when I was scared to death and was consumed with self-doubt.
  • I needed to get really clear on my passion and who I wanted to help…I help women who are stuck get unstuck.  Plain and simple. That may be a woman who is burned out or in a job she hates and doesn’t know how to make a change; or, it could be an empty nester who has no clue what she will do for the next fifty years.  It may also be a woman who is already working from home but cannot figure out the time management and self care pieces. It could even look like a young adult who has a college degree, but would rather follow her own path but doesn’t know how.

So, sometimes I ask myself, If I had the chance to do it again, would I change everything?  The answer—probably has certainly made me who I am, and I don’t believe in would’ves, could’ves and should’ves

Would I stay miserable for as long?  Definitely not. Twenty-six years…that is a long time to be miserable. 

Now, I know there are women who love where they are and what they do— that is AWESOME!

But, if that is not you, if you are one of the stuck ones, just know you are not alone.  I get it. I get being stuck.

Also know, if you are stuck…you don’t have to be. You simply have to ask yourself…am I where I want to be?  If the answer is noyou need to know you can start again.  It’s not easy, and yes it is scary.  But…you are worth it.

Make the decision.

Find your support. 

Hire a coach. 

Get Unstuck.

Start again.

Create a life you love.

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